Recently I learned that love is not just a 'feeling'. Reflecting about this, I found that the 'feel good' part of it is a bonus. I understand, however, that sometimes it's necessary to feel, because our human mind cannot fully explain what love is. But the beauty of love does not lie in just that. There's more to it.
It's amazing how ignorant I've been over the things happening around me that are teaching me about the truth of what love is. But I'm grateful I can stop and see what these lessons are now. Better late than never, I guess... Although I see just a foreshadow of the fullness of what it is, I think it affected me in many ways on how I view 'life'.
Irrespective of our religion, I believe we know that the source of love is God. That alone should tell us that love is meant to be 'sacred'. But with the world (especially the media) telling us what love should look like, it's understandable how we may all have different opinions of what this 'love' is. Most of the time, we make love look selfish. And the easiest way to make ourselves sure we love someone (family, friend, special someone), is when we 'feel good' most of the time. I think it can be a good measure sometimes, but it's not the total picture. It's only one angle of the perfect view.
Here's what I mean.
How do I explain love between a husband and a wife who's been married for more than 50 years? Raising troubled kids, facing countless financial short-comings, illnesses, making wrong decisions, exchanging hurtful words, seeing the true, 'imperfect' characters of each other, the list goes on...
How do I explain volunteers who help feed the poor and dedicate their lives to making sure others 'live', by feeding the smelly, nursing the dying and caring for those who do not respond?
How do I explain betrayed friendships that lasts anyway?
I can't explain. But I do believe love is what it takes to be and do all that. If love was mere feelings, then I think marriages would crumble, families would not find the strength to go through tough times, and friendships wouldn't last for the right reasons. It's dangerous to wait for the 'feel good' of love to act on it.
Love IS action. The willingness to give without counting the cost. To care without listing down reasons. And I believe, that love received freely,and given freely, is what brings happiness. This love is also what gives strength to forgive, and to forget. This love is also one that is more concerned about the other's happiness. It's unconditional.
Does this mean I should let others step on me? Should I forget my existence? Nope. On the contrary. I think until I fully learn to accept, forgive, and love myself, simply because I am a precious creation,the beloved of God, then I will not be able to truly love others. This act of selfless love, although it teaches us to look at ourselves less, it actually enriches us with love for ourselves. And that's the freedom I seek.
It takes courage to love. We may have this fear of our own weaknesses, we may not even realize it. I personally think this fear is what numbs us as we face the possibilities of others failing us, or the possibilities of us failing others. It hinders us to freely experience loving and being loved.
The One who created us knows our strengths and weaknesses. No trials or burden will come our way, that we are not being prepared for....Easier said than done? Absolutely. But I pray to have the courage to trust that more everyday.
I believe in my heart of hearts, that I am guided to live this kind of love to its fullest. And I will see my family (my first experience of love), my close friends and all those who comes along my path as people who will show me what this love is. And when there's an opportunity to act on love, I pray that I will be brave enough to act, because that's the only way I will know what this love is. When I fall (I know I will, many times), I hope to have the courage to stand up again.
So does love look like it's just a feeling? I'd be living a fantasy if that is the kind of love I seek. Feelings don't last. Love does. Feelings don't endure all things, love does. I'm grateful if I am rewarded with the 'warm, fuzzy feelings of love'. But most of the time, that's not the case. And if this is reality, than I'll take it no other way.
